On Marriage II : A Foolish Bachelor’s Point of View and the Lover’s Dilemma

On Marriage II : A Foolish Bachelor’s Point of View and the Lover’s Dilemma
See also: On Marriage I : Having a Spouse is Not A "Death Sentence"
"Exhausted and bored by promiscuity"




Men are undoubtedly foolish: as foolish as foolish humans -- of any sex -- typically are.  But when it comes to being a real fool -- a fool of all fools -- bachelor's sit alone atop the fool hierarchy.


Especially when it comes to love.


And when it comes to love -- which becomes irreversibly foreverlasting through the ceremonial and spiritual significance of marriage -- there are two particularly foolish types of bachelors.


First there is the “jaded bachelor” --  a man hostile toward the joys of life and resentful of the pains of required to become an excellent lover.  At best this type of bachelor is a solid provider but not much more -- this bachelor is always lacking in the passion and affection departments.


Then there’s the “exuberant bachelor -- a man so full of irresistibly expressive pleasure and deeply spiritual delight, that romantic agony is just a particularly prickly matter of rewarding amusement.  Naturally this sort of bachelor pursues passionate affairs, at all costs, and without concern for potential loss or fear of danger.


And that’s how it is for men.   Those darn bachelor men.


So what then is the solution to this lover’s dilemma?


The answer is simple: lovers should seek long-term commitment to -- and from -- a single devoted partner. It’s as plain as that.


Why?  Because commitment -- believe it or not -- can be exciting, especially for those “jaded bachelors “ out there.  Love provides both hope and intrigue while warming even the coldest, most distant hearts out there.  But it does take time.  Which is why commitment is so important.


Likewise commitment helps to take the edge off the “exuberant bachelors” -- it stabilizes their passion by placing it in the care of a single loving partner instead of letting their passion run “open, wild, and free.”  And has these kinds of bachlors know -- and as psychology confirms --
love is dangerous, and definitely more dangerous the more people that are involved.


Ultimately commitment should help produce a man in the following mold: one who is both a hard-working provider -- like the best aspects of the jaded bachelor -- and a venturesome romantic -- like the “exuberant bachelor”.  But at this point a “committed man” is no longer a bachelor -- for a bachelor is only concerned with the avoidance of pain or the gain of pleasure.

Instead a committed man seeks a committed relationship for this purpose: for pride, for power, for wealth, for health, for responsibility, and for longevity.  After all this is what manhood is about on a fundamental and primitive level.  And there’s no denying that.

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