On Marriage: Having a Spouse is Not a Death Sentence

On Marriage: Having a Spouse is Not a “Death Sentence”

Image result for wedding

Marriage is the most powerful, important, and meaningful institution in all of human history.  It unequivocally separates humans from animals (and for those who don’t know animals don’t ever, and have never, gotten married).

Which is just one reason why people are still getting married today.  

Another reason pertains to beauty.

However the underlying eternal beauty of marriage has been socially tainted by a rampant and dark cynicism.

The cynicism regarding marriage usually goes something like this: “marriage is death sentence for joy and pleasure”.

Now ask yourself this question: why would anyone think of marriage that way?

One reason is a cliche, a cliche that I think is true, is that people “fear” commitment.  

And the reason they fear commitment is because it’s easier to live life without thinking about commitment at all.  It’s easier to let others -- even corporations --  guide you into their own personal commitments without you thinking about it.

In other words people think of marriage as a “death sentence” simply because they haven’t really reflected on the significance of making the choice to marry.

So the lesson to learn here: identify what it is worth being committed to, why you are committed to a person/goal/ideology, and how to best maintain your most important commitments.

And obviously, if you’re getting married, you should have already done this: your spouse -- and the life you build together -- should be what you consider worth being committed to.

Likewise affection, attention, love, responsibility, and marital power should be why you marry.

But the hard part would seem like this -- maintaining, and consistently, reaffirming your commitment to your spouse.

That obviously is daily work. However work itself is a daily pleasure.  Without work humans become flabby, shabby, and bored.  Nobody likes that.

So having a spouse, to get and keep you “worked up”, is a healthy exercise for spiritual, mental, and physical hygiene.  Which is important, at to those of us who have any common sense and don’t want to be too sloppy.

Hence we must conclude the cynic’s attitude “marriage is a death sentence” to appear as silly as it is unfit -- for it is only the fit who commit, who stay committed, and it is the fit who love the most.

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  1. I love what you wrote here.
    All though for some it has been a death sentence, or close to. From abusive men to money hungry women that kill for insurance.

    Great writing Zig, hope to read more

    1. Here's my problem -- there's no obvious outlet for men and women to get together when both are explicitly looking for commitment. Bars don't work for that purpose. Tinder doesn't work for that purpose. Workplaces prohibit that kind of purpose between men and women employees (usually under the guise of "sexual harassment"). So then we're lead to this question " where in the world is anyone supposed to find -- and expect -- commitment?"


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